F.I.N.E.

You know in The Italian Job when they say that "FINE" stands for freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional? Yeah. That's been me for the past few days. And I'm not entirely sure I know why or where it came from. What I do know is that I'm not happy with how I've been acting lately. I've been taking out my issues on the ones I love the most and that's not fair. Not fair at all.

When it comes down to it, I think most of my problem is stress and lack of exercise. The stress of moving not only into a new home, but also a new workspace. The stress of having to clean, fix, and do all kinds of shit to the old place so the landlords don't try and take me to the bank. The stress of working 43 hours a week. I know… a lot of people work a lot more hours. But add in the hour and a half commute to and from work everyday and you get 11 to 12 hour days. Add that to making dinner, bathing a little one, and doing any chores that are a part of everyday life and I barely get enough time to sit down and unwind before its time to go to bed and do it all again the next day.

Its all about balance. With all the changes lately I haven't been adjusting to the new balance that is my life very smoothly. All the changes are fantastic and I love that I am building a great life with the man that I love. Everything I ever wanted is finally falling into place. I am terrified however, that with my lack of adjustment I am going to screw something up. So what I need to do is get over myself and let the stress and needless emotions go.

I am rapidly coming to believe all the hype that exercise really is important in a well balanced life. I have been actively hiding from the exercise I used to be so addicted to . I can give you every excuse under the sun as to why I haven't been doing it, but reality is, I've gotten lazy. I know it will help me let the stress go and yet I have refuse to do it. So heres to feeling better and getting over myself. Two mile runs everyday this week. 2.5 next.

Oh and btw.. thanks for putting up with my shit, I never meant to take it out on you. I love you.